The story
"Look at all the other bins so colourful" as I'm talking to myself again.
"Heh look at the litter box, he's a peace of trash" the black bin says
"Yay he stinks" a yellow can adds. And then out of the blue there is a truck and it's come to take me away to turn me into a unicycle.
"Bye bye" a blue bin says but instead he takes the other bins. Now I can live in peace then that dog comes over and pees on the ground.
Cool story you might want to go over your grammar and make sure you have periods at the end of each sentence. The end part when the dog pees on you is a little random so you might want to fix the part and make it flow.
ReplyDeleteYour first sentence doesn't make a lot of sense to me. You have also used a bunch of speaking roles in your story and that is always a good thing to have included! At the end of your story you say, "Now I can live in peace then that dog comes over and pees on the ground.". And to me the sentence doesn't make sense. Plus you haven't used the dog in the story before this sentence so maybe describe where the dog fits in a little bit more.
ReplyDeleteGood story. You really need to make the story flow because i got confused and had to read a lot of the part over and over again. The end when a dog pees that one was a little after thought i think so you need to improve on that.
ReplyDeleteGreat story. But some parts of it are a little confusing. Also in one part you say "heh' and I think you meant to say "hey" and you can't start a sentence with the word "and" But overall great idea.
ReplyDelete