David Wants A Pet
Clarissa was coming home from work on the bus when she got a phone call from her son David. He said ''what time are you going to be home at?" I replied "I will be home about 7:30." On my way home I was listening to the news on my iPad and it said "David Strawberry had stolen a hippo from the Greater Vancouver Zoo and authorities were looking for him." When I got home I rushed inside and found David in the garage with the hippo feeding it a watermelon and she was shocked to see the giant creature up close.
A very creative idea to incorporate a hippo into your story. Be sure to read over your story to a peer or an adult to check that it makes sense and for fluency. You have many run on sentences and your story jumps around a bit making it hard to follow. Spend some quality time revising and editing after your fist draft as it will make for a better story.
ReplyDeleteAlso be sure to follow the correct way to use punctuation for dialogue (speaking parts between people).