THE BABY MIXUP
On December 14, 2000 there was a very bad fire in our apartment building. My mommy was home with me at the time. The fire started in our apartment on the top floor because my mommy left something on the stove and forgot about it. She called 911 and she grabbed me and took me to the balcony, as my mommy was handing me to the firefighter she realized that I was replaced with a watermelon and she had left me on the kitchen counter. She raced inside and grabbed me quickly and we went back on the balcony to safety.
I think your story is really funny but I think you should replace some of your words with stronger words. You should also try to get rid of a few "and's" so maybe you could replace that with different words too.
ReplyDeleteYou could replace your words with sronger ones and leave a space beetween the dat and when your story starts.
ReplyDelete